All That I Need
by Hoshiko
Summary: The follow-up/sequel type-thing to "Midnight Conversation"


Heh...I've been meaning to write this for a while too, and just never got around to it. Anyhow, I wrote it earlier than I thought I would. The follow-up/sequel type-thing to "Midnight Conversation." Like "Somewhere in Between" and "Midnight Conversation" it was written while listening to music from Lifehouse. This time it was "Everything". Good stuff. ^_^

Hoshiko ^_^

Disclaimer: I do not _ Here is Greenwood_, I'm just borrowing the characters for a bit. 

feedback is greatly appreciated ^_^

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**All That I Need**

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Mitsuru's fist was scant inches from the door when it opened unexpectedly. Shinobu stood behind it almost as though using the door as some kind of shield against anything Mitsuru could say to him. And perhaps he was.  
  
"Shinobu...I...can I come in?" Mitsuru asked, feeling oddly vulnerable standing on the opposite side of the door from his roommate. "I think we need to talk."  
  
Even as the words left his mouth Mitsuru could have damned himself for uttering such trite and cliché words. Even if they were the truth. Worse, he saw something flicker in the back of Shinobu's eyes that he had seen once before. The closest Shinobu would ever come to showing fear or uncertainty. The closest he would allow himself to.  
  
Stepping aside, Shinobu opened the door wider to allow Mitsuru inside. Offering the other boy a small smile, Mitsuru walked past him, taking care not to brush against him in passing.   
  
Unspoken boundaries had been crossed that night, and he needed to find where he stood with his roommate. He needed to know where the lines had been redrawn, or even if they had been. And the only way to know that was by respecting the old ones, one of which was to grant Shinobu his personal space. Encroaching upon it unasked or uninvited brought with it grave consequences. Some of which Mitsuru was experiencing already.  
  
Walking over to his desk, Mitsuru turned to see Shinobu closing the door behind him. The other boy didn't avoid his eyes - nor did he seek them. For some inexplicable reason, Mitsuru was shaken to his core when he was denied that simple thing. Looking into Shinobu's eyes was like looking into something mysterious and wonderful - and frightening for all the promise held there.  
  
"Shinobu..." He stopped, uncertain of how to proceed now that he had his chance to speak. To explain to Shinobu why he had asked the questions he had. To explain why he had wanted to know about the other boy so badly.   
  
Shinobu looked up as his voice trailed away, eyes cold and shuttered as though preparing himself for the worst. Seeing that made Mitsuru sick to his stomach, because he knew he had put that look there, however inadvertently. Shinobu looked like a man sentenced to the death penalty - or worse, life without a chance for parole. Life without hope.  
  
"I ran into Shun in the hall," Mitsuru tried again, hoping that this time he would be able to get through to Shinobu. "He had a lot to say."  
  
Shinobu didn't say anything, but Mitsuru caught the silent question in his eyes. He almost smiled as he saw it, knowing that Shinobu was wondering in which direction he was headed with that line of thought. And even more importantly - why.  
  
Mitsuru would have liked to say that it was strange for Shinobu to remain so quiet, but it wasn't. It was Shinobu's way to watch and observe, tucking away what he had learned in some secret corner of his mind for later use. It was his way to let others speak their mind, often trapping themselves in their imperfect logic and emotions. It was his way to watch and wait for an opportunity to strike like a predator stalking its prey. Letting the other person do all the work while he fell back on his seemingly endless patience.  
  
Fiddling with something on his desk, Mitsuru picked through the jumble of his mind for the words he needed to say. For the words that needed to be said. Not just for Shinobu or himself - but for them both.   
  
"He actually makes a frightening kind of sense when you take the time to listen to him. It's weird."  
  
Shinobu's eyes narrowed slightly, wondering if Mitsuru would ever get to the point or if they would be there the whole night tiptoeing around the subject. There were limits to the things that even he would tolerate. Even from Mitsuru.  
  
"Say what you have to say and be done with it." Shinobu said, his words clipped.  
  
If this was to be the end of their friendship then he would rather Mitsuru not draw it out any longer than necessary. It would only make things more unpleasant and uncomfortable for both of them than was strictly necessary. And Shinobu had no patience for those who wasted his time.  
  
Looking away from the other boy, Mitsuru studied the clutter on his desk feeling as though he was losing ground in some unseen battle. And maybe it was one; the way Shinobu was warding him off with his customary icy façade. Shifting the loose papers around in a bid to buy him the time he needed to get through to Shinobu, Mitsuru froze as something amidst the pile caught his eye.  
  
Unbidden a smile came to his lips, curving them ever so slightly. It was a picture taken by Shun for a photography class the younger boy had taken. The image was slightly fuzzy and out of focus, as it had been one of Shun's first attempts, but the smile on his and Shinobu's faces were genuine and easy enough to make out. As was the silent laughter in Shinobu's gray-green eyes.  
  
"I almost forgot about that..." Mitsuru mused aloud, for the moment unaware of Shinobu's eyes on him. "Hasukawa fell in the pond right before Shun took that picture..."  
  
Looking up at Shinobu, Mitsuru smiled, startling Shinobu with the warmth in his eyes and his smile.  
  
"Remember? It was the day Shun wanted to take us out for a treat for helping him study for his exams the term before." Mitsuru said, holding the picture up for Shinobu to see. "We were coming back and Hasukawa...tripped."  
  
Even Shinobu couldn't keep a straight face as the picture stirred the memory in the back of his mind. Strange, how accident-prone Hasukawa became when he was around Mitsuru and himself. They might have even started a betting pool on what sort of incident would befall him next, if they weren't the cause of most of them. It just seemed unsporting to take such obvious advantage of the situation. And besides, there were plenty of other things to hold betting pools on concerning the young redhead.  
  
"He didn't believe that you had nothing to do with the whole situation. He's smarter than he lets on, sometimes." Shinobu admitted almost ruefully, still avoiding Mitsuru's eyes although the ice was melting from his voice.   
  
Mitsuru's smile widened, the tiny half-smile gracing Shinobu's lips giving him hope that perhaps this situation could be salvaged. He allowed himself so few real friends that he didn't want to risk losing one as important as Shinobu. Even if all they could ever be was simply friends, he wanted that. More than he could say.  
  
Setting the picture back down, Mitsuru tipped his head to the side as he regarded his roommate thoughtfully. Shinobu was the only one who knew him inside and out. The only one Mitsuru allowed that close. The only one who had ever wanted to without asking some price that he was unable or unwilling to pay. The only one who had never asked for anything from Mitsuru.  
  
"Shinobu...I'm sorry. I should have known better to push you like that. I'm sorry."  
  
The words were inadequate in a way that tore at Mitsuru's heart. He was sorry, but only because he had moved too fast for Shinobu. Only because he had wanted his questions answered without taking the time to consider Shinobu's feelings. He'd pressed the other boy for the answers to questions he wasn't ready for. Things he wasn't capable of admitting even to himself yet. He knew, on some level that Shinobu was responding to him, but oh so slowly like a rare flower that bloomed once every so many years.   
  
His timing needed to be exact to come across Shinobu at the right moment. In order to draw the other boy out he needed patience and that was something he was learning through Shinobu. It was why he so often rushed into things without pausing to think his actions out clearly beforehand. Why Shinobu so often arrived to back him up with the proper solution.  
  
"I know I can never say 'I'm sorry' enough, but believe me I am. I just wanted to know more about you, Shinobu. You never talk about yourself unless you have to, and even then you never tell everything. I just wanted to know who you are, Shinobu. The way you know who I am. I just..."  
  
Mitsuru trailed off as words failed him, once again. It was no surprise to him; they had never been his friends to begin with. They betrayed him at every turn, twisting and tangling into themselves on the journey from thought to spoken words.  
  
Somehow though, Shinobu sensed the sincerity in his words that he did speak. Somehow he delved into them and found the meaning that lay underneath them.  
  
"What did Shun say to you?" He asked, offering wordless acknowledgement in his eyes.   
  
It was enough for the moment that Mitsuru still wanted something to do with him. The rest would follow as it was meant to. And perhaps something would come of it in the future. Only time would tell.  
  
Mitsuru shrugged, violet eyes catching Shinobu's.  
  
"Nothing really. He just made me realize a few things that I hadn't considered before."  
  
Unable to look away, Shinobu crossed his arms, his lips curving into a wry smile. Judging by the look on Mitsuru's face, Shun had given the other boy quite a lot to think about. Whether that was a good thing or not remained to be seen. Shun came up with the oddest ideas at times.  
  
"Like what?"  
  
Mitsuru shrugged again, smiling slightly.  
  
"Just how glad I am that I know you at all, I suppose. And that it doesn't matter if you never answer my questions, because it's enough that I know you."  
  
Shinobu arched an eyebrow in plain disbelief. Obviously not appeased by Mitsuru's answers. He could sense the other boy was deliberately holding something back.  
  
"That's it?"  
  
Mitsuru's smile widened a little more, violet eyes sliding away from Shinobu's.  
  
"That's all that I need."  
  
Shinobu blinked, wondering at the odd tone in Mitsuru's voice. It was nothing he could remember having heard before from the other boy. And yet at the same time it felt strangely familiar, as though he should know it.  
  
"Mitsuru..."  
  
The blonde looked up at the sound of his name, looking more at peace than Shinobu had ever seen him. Somehow seeing that, Shinobu felt that things would work out for the best in the end. They always did, in a way. Who knew, maybe the fight between them that night had been inevitable. A stepping-stone to what lay before them in the future.  
  
"It's late, Mitsuru. We have that test in social sciences first thing in the morning. We should try to get some sleep."   
  
Smiling, Mitsuru nodded.  
  
"I guess we do, don't we? Good night, Shinobu." Mitsuru said, walking over to the bunk bed and climbing up into his bed.  
  
Making his way to his own bed, Shinobu settled in under the blankets waiting for Mitsuru's breath to level off indicating he'd fallen asleep. When he did, Shinobu smiled softly, gray-green eyes narrowed thoughtfully.   
  
Something had happened between them that night that he had never expected, but for some reason he couldn't say that he hadn't appreciated it. He knew whatever it had been, it wasn't over yet, but for some reason that thought didn't bother him as much as it once had.   
  
"Good night, Mitsuru." He whispered, the smile on his face remaining there even after he too drifted off to sleep. 


End file.
